3. You have face wrinkles from intense grunting and straining that normal people don’t have.
4. Your monthly supplement bill is more than your monthly mortgage.
5. If you happen to wake up at 3:00 a.m., you make yourself a protein shake.
6. You start lifting earlier than the U.S. military even gets out of bed.
7. Your abdominals are super ripped, but for some reason this area is so bloated that it bulges out further than your chest.
8. You hate 13 page magazine information articles on new supplements.
9. You endorse supplements that you wouldn’t even use yourself.
10. Your workout now takes 1 hour or less compared to when you use to lift for 3 hours a day every day.
11. People stop working out and watch you as you do your dead lifts.
12. You need 5 spotters when you do squats.
13. You know the gram count of every known protein food source on the planet.
14. You have thrown up after doing heavy legs.
15. You REALLY can’t straighten out your elbows.
16. You know every muscle in the body by scientific name as well as the correct spellings.
17. You take 9 times the daily recommended dosages on all of the supplements that you take.
18. You know that a hip sled isn’t used in the snow.
19. You have to stay downstairs for 2 days after doing legs.
20. The middle of your chest has grown together and is now one huge pec muscle.
21. Your hands are more callused than a bricklayer’s.
22. You know that “Amino” isn’t a Spanish word for friend.
23. Your butt is as hard as your biceps.
24. The bar bends as you mount it when doing heavy squats.
25. You have seen stars while doing squats.
26. You tend to wear shorts on cold days.
27. Your food taste like card board.
28. You have a personalized weight belt.
29. Your kitchen counter is lined with buckets of whey protein.
30. You warm up with more weight than most people work out with.
31. You say to yourself, “Man, am I big”.
32. Your buddy has to hand you dumb bells one at a time for benching.
33. You believe the SQUAT is the “King” of all exercises.
34. You know that a “Tear Drop” isn’t from being emotional.
35. You know that “Quad Sweep” isn’t a four sided broom.
36. You want steroids legalized.
37. You know that a “Lat Spread” isn’t a Spanish dinner festival.
38. Your chest is bigger than your wife/girlfriend’s
39. You hang out at the local gym café drinking protein shakes after your workouts.
40. Your best buddy is a meat cutter at your local super market.
41. You have ground all of the enamel off of your teeth.
42. Your doctor takes blood samples from your bicep veins.
43. You can now make your pec muscles “Dance”.
44. You would go bankrupt if you had to buy your own 45lb. plates.
45. You realized that competition placings don’t pay enough.
46. You eat more chicken in one week, then most families eat in a month.
47. You have officiated bench press competitions at your local gym.
48. You’ve used diet soda as a diuretic.
49. You have a savings account that will later be used for “Gyno” surgery.
50. You have to use lotion between your thighs after doing legs.
51. You have a dumb bell as a paper weight.
52. You have to wear a T-shirt that says, “No autographs during my workout”.
53. You know that watching your muscles while lifting is not an ego trip.
54. You need two people to tighten your weight belt for dead lifts.
55. You have to walk through doors sideways.
56. You learned that you have to eat because you have to – not because it tastes good.
57. You have an exercise or exercise technique named after you.
58. You take more pills than your grandmother & grandfather put together.
59. You’re the only guy lifting on a holiday.
60. You’re one of the 10% lifting on the weekend.
61. You ask for a milkshake when you go out drinking with the boys.
62. You realize that lunges aren’t for sissy’s.
63. You carry around a gallon jug of water while you lift.
64. You’ve taken a trip to Mexico and it wasn’t vacation time.
65. You use the term “Guns” to describe your arm size.
66. You wish protein bars didn’t cost so much.
67. You eat oatmeal by the pound.
68. Your weight goals are: 180 in 1 year, 220 in 2 years, 250 in 3 years and 275 in 4 years.
69. You know to lose fat, you have to eat, not starve on salads.
70. Your wife or girlfriend have said: “That’s Big Enough”
71. You have more competition trophies than family pictures.
72. You know that an old rusty 50 pound dumb bell weights just as much as as a new 50 pound shiny chrome dumb bell.
73. You know that a “French Press” is not a sexual position.
74. You can only wear extra baggy pants.
75. Because you need a dress shirt with an 18” neck, the rest of your shirt looks like a hot air balloon.
76. Your forearms are bigger than normal peoples thighs.
77. You have actually tried to dead lift your sisters car when her girlfriends came over.
78. You actually, to your own surprise, did lift the car!
79. Everybody knows you by name at your local gym.
80. You know that there are no secrets to power.
81. You get bruises on your quads from setting dumb bells on them when you do heavy dumb bell bench and presses.
82. Your traps always tickle your ears when you turn your head sideways.
83. You can split the back out of most shirts.
84. Sweat is always channeled down in between your pecs.
85. You have 3 dresser drawers full of competition t-shirts.
86. You almost have a heart attack watching other people’s lifting techniques.
87. You no longer do ¼ squats.
88. You can convert kilo’s into pounds without a calculator or chart.
89. During high school, you failed anatomy class, but now you’re a muscle rocket scientist.
90. You can’t possibly sit with your legs closed.
91. Your gym bag has more accessories than the gym its self.
92. You can no longer drive small sports cars.
93. You enter truck pulling contests on your days off.
94. You know a vitamin or mineral for every letter of the alphabet.
95. You scare most cops.
96. You have to store your vitamins and minerals in 3 different spice racks.
97. You asked Santa to get you some new supplements and a squat rack.
98. Your New Years Resolution was to gain another 30 pounds.
99. Every Halloween you dress up as a Bodybuilder.
100. You take any supplement that claims “Anabolic effects”.
101. You wear a bandana when you lift.
102. Your gym membership is free because your presence brings in business.
103. You have used medicine intended for animals.
104. Your local veterinarian is your best friend now.
105. You bought 2 cows and 1 horse just to throw off you neighbours.
106. You get massively upset when your workout momentum is interrupted.
107. You wonder why amino acid pills are so big.
108. You can actually swallow amino acid horse pills.
109. You still drink raw eggs even though you have had salmonella 5 times.
110. You hate doing cardio with a passion.
111. You told the pharmacist that, “Oh, those needles are for my diabetic aunt”.
112. You tried to open a Mexican pharmacy in the States and got arrested.
113. For some reason, in the off season, you move to Mexico to workout.
114. You know more about insulin than people with diabetes.
115. You stay out of bar fights because you know that you can literally rip heads off now.
116. You can carry 37 bags from the car after buying groceries.
117. Your friends always want you to help them move.
118. People actually say “Excuse Me” when they bump into you.
119. You have your supplier’s name on speed dial.
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